SETTING: A private bedroom, late at night. The glow of a television provides the only light.
SUMMARY: A power-dynamic ritual between a man and his partner, known here as “The Simp.” As they wind down with a cooking competition show, the conversation shifts from culinary “mystery ingredients” to “The Menu”—a curated collection of the woman’s past sexual exploits intended to arouse.
SCENE 1
Soft blue light from the TV flickers across the room. The air hums with anticipation.
HIM: Simp!
HER: (Silence. Footsteps approaching.) Yes, Simp Master?
HIM: I’m ready for bed.
HER: Yes Sir, Simp Master. Please give me a minute to get ready.
HIM: Aight. I’ll find something on TV. Then I’ll go shower too.
SCENE 2
Later. The murmur of a cooking show fills the background.
TV ANNOUNCER (V.O.): Your mystery ingredients are: Canadian beets. Pork tongue. Saffron oil. Melted Colombian Queso.
HIM: Get over here. Come lay on my chest.
HER: With pleasure, Sir.
HIM: (Chuckling) I think I could make that basket work. Never used tongue before but I’ll bread that shit up and fry it.
HER: The Simp agrees, Simp Master. I’d make an open-faced grilled tongue and onions on toast with homemade saffron & parmesan fries. Your Simp can cook her ass off, Simp Master.
HIM: Heh. Keep on. You gone be getting your ass up to cook. This shit’s making me hungry.
HER: Just let me know, Sir. It is my pleasure to cook for you.
HIM: Umm hmm… I’m horny. Let’s go.
HER: As you wish, Simp Master.
SCENE 3
Under the covers. The mood has shifted to something darker, more intimate.
HER: Does that feel good, Simp Master? Do you want my Simp hands tighter or looser on your dick? Like that? Slower?
HIM: That’s it. You got it. No more questions.
HER: Do you want to hear the menu, Simp Master?
HIM: Yeah. Let’s hear it.
HER: The Menu. Want to hear about the time I gave a dude a handjob at our favorite bar in the French Quarter?
HIM: (Silence.)
HER: Do you want to hear about when I sucked three Australian dudes off in a hostel in Prague?
HIM: (A grunt.)
HER: Do you want me to tell you about when I would dress up as Tsunade from Naruto and suck anonymous dicks through a glory hole?
HIM: Lol. No. Why is that even in the menu? Take that out. When did I have you add that? Whatever… Doesn’t matter.
HER: As you wish, Simp Master. I will not mention that specific story until you ask me for it.
HIM: Thanks. Sounds hot tho.
HER: Every night I’m a filthy slut for my Boyfriend. I jerk my boyfriend’s dick and take a mouthful of his cum every night. Without failure. Without hesitation. Without question. Do you want to hear more about my whore hands and my whore mouth?
HIM: I’ll save that for tomorrow morning. Don’t forget. Wake me up with that.
HER: Yes, Sir. Tomorrow morning I will wake you up with another handjob and tell you how much dick I jerk and how much cum gets dumped in my mouth.
HIM: Can’t wait.
HER: Shall the Simp proceed, Simp Master?
HIM: Let’s go.
HER: When I was a Consultant for Accenture, we had to travel every week for work. I used to suck my coworker’s dick on Alaska Airlines red-eye flights to and from Los Angeles airport. Do you want to hear about how dirty your Simp was and how much dick she was sucking in coach?
HIM: Hmm… Nah. I don’t think I want a story today.
HER: Yes, Simp Master.
HIM: I want to hear the Simp tell me how much she loves her Simp Master.
HER: Yes, Simp Master. Can I show you my love for you with my mouth, Simp Master?
HIM: Ehh… Surprise me.
HER: As you wish, Simp Master. Can you pull your shorts down for me, Sir?
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